You Just a Don’t Get It

I am married (divorced twice), 4 kids and 4 step-kids. I have a step-daughter who is 21, a son turning 21, a stepson that just turned 18 and a senior in high school, I have a son who is 17, junior in HS, and has High Functioning Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder. My daughter is 16, a sophomore in HS, the academic and musically talented Varsity Wrestling Letter (freshman year) and really involved in her church as her dad and step mom are associate pastors. I have a 15 year old stepson who is a freshman in HS. And we have my 12 year old son and my 12 year old stepson. Brady Bunch lol.

I have been an autism advocate since 2010. I have extensive experience in DoDEA education in the states and abroad in advocacy of special education education for the military. I have extensive experience as an advocate for military children being diagnosed with disorders. I assisted to minimizing medication, accurately diagnosing on the ASD Spectrum, and worked alongside a licensed psychologist and a psychiatrist.

I have an extensive higher education history. Attended many colleges and Universities over 20 years (moved so much as a military wife education was difficult to finish.). I have a Bachelors Degree in Organizational Human Behavioral Psychology. I have advocated for more research into vaccine causation to Nero-developmental disorders. On Hubpages I have shared many experiences and wrote about issues needing more attention and fight for the truth in everything.

I want to put into words; others can read, of what it has been like living with borderline personality disorder. It’s hard for those with BPD to verbalize what goes on in our minds, the emotions, how we can have a reality that isn’t reality. We battle all within ourselves and very few truly can understand. There used to be a stigma; we weren’t treatable, you can’t take meds to cure it, that we were sociopaths even. Truth is with education and those with BPD speaking out and sharing their inner turmoil and thoughts...it makes it more relatable. We aren’t alone. We can get better. Those close to us can understand and adapt to help us.

We don’t want to be this way. We can’t help it. We can only hope that we find understanding, love, compassion, patience. Our progress can depend on who is in our lives.

I’m not a professional writer. I have awful grammar. I need spell check. I have run on sentences. My poetry is probably grade school level; but it’s from the heart. It’s honest. It’s taken from journals. Comes from my episodes. Written with intense emotions. It’s real. I hope it may help others to live with BPD.

It’s hard to speak out. But sometimes it’s worth it.

—-Never stop learning, always ask questions, keep your eyes open, stay open minded and passionate——